Death Dialogues: Preserving Family Heirlooms with Beechwood Cemetary

We recently had the honour of spending some time with Beechwood Funeral Home, Cemetery and Cremation Services.  Our Jessica Harden gave a seminar and visited with staff and families who have lost someone dear to them and have been left with a delema.  What DO you do with their jewellery?  Where should you even start?  

This is can be a burden for an already grieving family and we, at La Maison d'Or, are glad to lighten the mental load and help guide you through your options. We'd like to start by sharing the seminar with you right here on our blog. But as always, we are here for you and any questions you may have.  Call us anytime at 613-837-1001 and we will make sure you get answers that are tailored to your unique situation.

Jewellery as Family Heirlooms  

• Powerful Emotional Connection: Jewellery is more than just an accessory; it serves as a tangible connection to family history and identity. Whether it's a grandmother’s wedding ring or a father’s watch, these items have the ability to evoke deep personal memories, carrying stories from one generation to the next. They serve as a reminder of family traditions, significant life events, and personal milestones.  

• Unique and Irreplaceable: Unlike other assets, jewellery often has a unique design or sentimental origin that makes it irreplaceable. Even though its monetary value may change, its emotional value remains constant across generations.  

• Financial Value: In addition to sentimental value, jewellery can also appreciate in monetary worth, especially if it contains precious stones or metals. Certain heirlooms might also become valuable antiques over time.  

How to Prepare Your Future Family Heirlooms  

1. Assign Jewellery to Individuals: This should be a thoughtful process. Consider the relationship each family member has to the item, each family member’s personal taste and style, and not just the monetary value of the pieces. Some pieces may have sentimental connections to certain individuals because of shared experiences or memories.  

• Written Documentation: Create a legal document that outlines the intended distribution. This can be part of a will or a separate heirloom designation list.  

• Communicate Your Decisions: Where appropriate, share your decisions with family members to ensure transparency and avoid potential disputes after you're gone.  

1. Catalogue Items with History: Create a detailed inventory of each item, including photographs, descriptions of the piece, its history, and any appraisals. This will ensure that future generations understand the item's significance, origin, and value.  If there is a particular story attached to the item, include this to ensure this story gets passed down to the next generations.  

• Digital Records: Consider creating a digital catalogue where all relevant documents (photos, receipts, appraisals) are stored. This can be shared with family members.  

1. Consider Gifting Beforehand if You Are Not Wearing Them: Rather than waiting until after you pass, gifting jewellery while you are still alive allows you to enjoy the moment of giving and share the story behind each piece. It also gives you the chance to see how your loved ones appreciate the heirlooms. Please do not do this if you are still enjoying the pieces yourself, you should wear and enjoy your jewellery!  

1. Keep Jewellery Safe: Store high-value or sentimental pieces in a safe or a safety deposit box to protect them from theft or damage. Consider insuring particularly valuable pieces.  

• Regular Maintenance: Ensure that jewellery is regularly cleaned, inspected, repaired, and maintained. This will help preserve its condition and value over time.  Visit a reputable jeweller for cleaning and advice.  

1. Enjoy Your Jewellery: Heirlooms don’t have to be locked away. Wearing and using them regularly keeps them as active parts of family life and ensures they continue to create memories.  

Things to Avoid When Planning  

• Focusing Only on Equal Value Distribution: Distributing jewellery based solely on financial value can create conflicts if emotional attachment to the items isn't considered. A piece that holds immense sentimental value for one family member may not be as valuable to another, so it’s important to discuss these factors openly.  

• Refurbishing for Future Recipients: While resizing or updating pieces to fit new owners might seem practical, it can also change the integrity of the heirloom. It’s often better to pass on items as they are, so future generations can choose how they would like to wear it.  

• Taking Family's Current Thoughts Too Literally: Family members’ opinions on heirlooms may change over time. Someone who has little interest in a particular piece now might value it deeply in the future as a connection to their loved ones. Don’t rush decisions based on present preferences.  

• Avoiding External Pressure: Estate planning is a personal process. Don’t let external pressures or family disagreements rush your decisions. Take the time to plan in a way that reflects your wishes and family values.  

Estate Executor’s Management of Heirlooms  

1. Initial Consultation: Meet with a trusted jeweller to determine which pieces need professional appraisal. Some items may not need an appraisal if it’s just for estate purposes.  

1. Review Your Goals: Before moving forward, clearly outline your goals. Is the executor’s concern dividing the jewellery equally among heirs? Or is it ensuring that certain pieces go to those who will treasure them the most? These decisions will influence the next steps.  

• Open Dialogue with Family: Engage in a conversation with family members about their expectations or feelings regarding specific pieces. This can help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts later on.  

1. Certified Appraisal: Once you’ve decided on the significant pieces, have a certified gemologist or appraiser evaluate them. This is particularly important for tax reasons, the estate is subject to division among multiple heirs, or you're considering selling certain pieces.  

1. Filing Appraisals in Estate Information Return (EIR): Ensure that the appraisals are documented and included in your estate filing for tax purposes. This also helps ensure that the jewellery’s value is fairly distributed among heirs.  

1. Distribution of Estate & Value: After the appraisal and documentation, determine how to distribute the pieces. Some families choose to distribute based on the sentimental attachment, while others may focus on equal value. Plan for both approaches to ensure fairness and harmony.  

What to Do When You Inherit Jewellery  

• Family Dynamics: Be mindful of the emotional dynamics at play when inheriting jewellery. Family members may have different expectations or sentimental attachments to the same pieces. Being prepared for open, honest discussions can help ease tensions.  

• Friction Points: Jewellery can become a source of friction in family estates, especially if there is no clear plan in place. Misunderstandings about distribution can lead to disputes, so careful planning and communication are key.  

Estate Heirloom Revitalization  

• Adjustment & Repair: When revitalizing family heirlooms, there are several considerations:  

• Realistic Expectations: Understand the limitations of the piece. What kind of repairs or adjustments are possible, and how will they impact the look and integrity of the piece?  

• Longevity of Repairs: Certain restorations may prolong the life of the piece but could require ongoing care and maintenance.  Consider how you will wear this piece, e.g. will it hold up to everyday wear, only special occasions etc...  

• Budget: Restoration can be expensive. Determine how much you're willing to invest, everyone has a different benchmark and some will consider the monetary value of the item when making a decision.  

• Preserving Originality: If a priority, maintain the original design of the heirloom. Overly altering an heirloom might cause regret.  

Options for Revitalizing Family Pieces  

• Custom Settings: One way to modernize heirloom jewellery is to reset gemstones into a new design. This approach allows you to create a custom piece that reflects your personal style while maintaining the family connection.  

• Custom or Non-Custom: Depending on your preferences and budget, you can opt for a fully custom design or choose a more affordable non-custom option that still honours the original piece.  

• Reusing Materials: Some heirlooms might not be in wearable condition, but their stones can be repurposed into new jewellery for future generations.  Metals can be reused but in a more limited fashion without compromising the integrity of the revitalized piece.  Speak to a jeweller for options.  

Our True Custom Process at La Maison d’Or  

1. Ideas & Sketches: Start with brainstorming sessions and sketches that capture your vision for the custom piece. Tell us your story, we will always respect the sentimental value of the heirloom.  

1. Model Stage: A 3-D Model of the design is created for you to approve before the final crafting begins. This way you can try it on and ensure that the design aligns with your expectations.  

1. The Reveal: After the piece is completed, we love presenting you the finished piece. This moment can be incredibly meaningful, especially when transforming a cherished heirloom into a modern, wearable piece.  

This provides a beginner guide to preserving and managing family jewellery heirlooms. From careful planning and documentation to revitalization and distribution, each step ensures that these meaningful pieces continue to create memories for generations to come.  

This Factsheet was developed in collaboration with La Maison D’Or based on the October 22 2024 Presentation.   

La Maison d’Or in Orleans is more than just a jewellery store; it is a beacon of quality and family tradition in the jewellery business. Celebrating its 45th anniversary and the 75th anniversary of the Harden family's involvement in the industry, La Maison d’Or is renowned for its custom, high-quality products crafted with expert precision. Since opening in 1985, the Orleans location has become a symbol of the Harden family's dedication to exceptional craftsmanship and personalized customer service. The origins of this legacy trace back to 1949 when Bill Harden Sr. and his wife Julie established Harden Jewellers in Hawkesbury. Under their mentorship and that of their aunt Kay Assaly, their sons expanded the business, eventually opening multiple locations, including the notable La Maison d’Or in Place d'Orleans. Today, La Maison d’Or in Orleans continues to uphold the family’s commitment to excellence, offering customers a unique and trusted shopping experience.  

Article co-written by Nicholas McCarthy and Jessica Harden